How to cope with your money shame

How to cope with yur money shameHow to cope with your money shameAccording to research professor,Bren Brown, there is a big difference between shame and guilt. She says that guilt is adaptive and helpful its holding something weve done or failed to do up against our values and feeling psychological discomfort. Shame, on the other hand, is the intensely painful feeling or experience of believing that we are flawed and therefore unworthy of love and belonging something weve experienced, done, or failed to do makes us unworthy of connection. To simplify that for you guilt is the feeling that wevedonesomething bad and shame is feeling thatweare bad.To simplify that for you guilt is the feeling that wevedonesomething bad and shame is feeling thatweare bad.Follow Ladders on FlipboardFollow Ladders magazines on Flipboard covering Happiness, Productivity, Job Satisfaction, Neuroscience, and moraWhy is that distinction important? According to Brens research, shame is actually not helpful at all. In fact, it can lead people to destructive and hurtful behavior. Contrarily, guilt can be a motivating emotion. It can encourage people to make more beneficial decisions and change their behavior for the better. Understanding the distinction can change how to speak to our loved ones and influence the language we use when talking about ourselves.And what does this have to do with money? Well, shame comes up a lot when it comes to money. In our society, we put a lot of value on financial standing, and we tend to blame ourselves if we arent keeping up with our peers. When we shame ourselves for our past financial decision or our current financial situation, we can feel incapable of making any changes. If you want to move forward and get yourself into a better place, you have to learn how to cope with your shame in a way that means it will lessen over time.How can you do that?Talk to Your Loved Ones About MoneyThe more we open up about something, the less isolated and ashamed we w ill feel. I guarantee that you know people who have made the same decisions or been in the same positions as you have. But you wont know that if you dont open up about where you are and where youve been. Feeling alone in our experiences means we will feel isolated and more likely to beat ourselves up. Opening up about our money struggles will help us find people who are going through the same things, and it will also help break the money taboo within our social circles.You can start this by just being honest when you cant necessarily afford to do something. Tell your friends that youre trying to pay down your credit card, so youre cutting back on dining out. Suggest more affordable socializing options. You might be surprised at how many people you know who are struggling with the same things.Forgive Yourself for Your Past DecisionsIve said it before and Ill say it again you have to forgive yourself for the financial mistakes youve made in the past. Its normal to be frustrated and wi sh that youd done something different, but it wont actually change what happened. Now, this is easier said than done. Forgiveness, especially self-forgiveness, isnt just a switch you can flip.I recommend coming up with positive affirmations and repeating them to yourself daily. Here are just a few I can think ofI am not defined by my past decisions.I am capable of improving my financial life.I deserve to be free of money shame.What are a few affirmations that you can repeat to yourself to help you move on from the past?Make a List of Everything Youve Done WellIts easier to focus on the things weve done wrong and forget about the things that weve done well. I know that I tend to agonize over my perceived shortcomings more often than I praise my successes. So Im willing to bet that you do the same. Sit down and make a list of all of the things that youve done well in your life. These things can be big or small.It doesnt just have to relate to money, it can be anything. However, an add itional step can be to show how you can apply that action to a financial activity. If youre really good at finishing your tasks at work everyday, maybe you can add a financial task to your to-do list at work.Recognize That Your Mistakes Can Teach You How to Do BetterIf we never mess up, we cant learn how to do things better Of course, we often wish we never had to learn our lesson, especially when it comes to money, but using your mistakes as a guide will help you. If you look back at your past financial behavior, pick out the things that hurt you the most. How can you make sure that you dont repeat those behaviors in your life moving forward? Instead of punishing yourself for those mistakes, let them show you what you dont want to do now.Choose Small Things You Can Start Doing NowProgress doesnt always have to mean making huge changes or reaching big goals. In fact, making progress often means making small, incremental changes that will lead you to a different circumstance. You can t expect yourself to be a completely new person overnight. You have to take small steps towards your bigger goals and be patient with yourself. What is one new thing you can start doing this week that will help to improve your financial situation?Here are some ideasMake a list of all of your monthly expenses, so that you know exactly how much needs to go out every month.Sign up for a budget tracking platform likeMint,YNAB, orClarityMoney.Take a money minute at least once a week, where you sit down to review your spending and compare it to your monthly budget.Work With a ProfessionalWhether its a therapist, a coach, or a financial planner, sometimes you have to hire a professional. If youve tried to do the things I mentioned above, and you still cant relinquish your money shame, you might need to enlist someone to help you. If there are deep, painful issues that you need to work through, a therapist is probably your best bet. If you want to focus on moving forward and identifying and implementing solutions, a coach might be best. If you just want someone who will tell you exactly what to do with your money, a financial planner will probably be the most help.Good luckThis article first appeared on Maggie Germano.You might also enjoyNew neuroscience reveals 4 rituals that will make you happyStrangers know your social class in the first seven words you say, study finds10 lessons from Benjamin Franklins daily schedule that will double your productivityThe worst mistakes you can make in an interview, according to 12 CEOs10 habits of mentally strong people

Eight Ways to Advance Your SQL Developer Career

Eight Ways to Advance Your SQL Developer CareerEight Ways to Advance Your SQL Developer CareerAs a SQL developer, youve no doubt spent countless hours helping your organization gain faster access to the data it needs to solve complex problems and uncover new business opportunities. If you want to advance your career as a SQL developer, however, you cant rest on your laurels.You need to seek out ways to stretch your abilities further and deliver even mora value to the business. Here are eight ways you can do itConsider the entire picture. Escape the box of queries and code. Think about the solution from end to end. What kind of system resources do you have to work with? Do you have thousands of SQL instances to manage? Optimize your database for that environment and standardize your configurations to maximize efficiency.Help demystify databases. Management usually needs assistance understanding databases, and how the business can use them more effectively. Help drive innovation by cre ating a diagram that will help nontechnical decision makers understand where data is being collected from, how it is being stored, and how databases are interconnected.Use metrics to demonstrate efficiency. Stand apart from old-school developers who like to keep their cards close to their chest Embrace metrics transparency. Sharing data can build a common vision, and shows management how the databases you develop are creating value for the organization.Prepare for audits. If your database contains sensitive information, youll be part of an audit at some point. Get ahead of the curve by setting up audit tables and deploying tools that monitor access to the database. (This not only will impress management and auditors, it will help to save you some stress.)Manage indexes. One of the first things you learned as a SQL developer is that indexing a database can yield incredible performance improvements. Take care to choose the right index for your data and the performance impact could be even greater.Protect production. If you have a testing environment, youre already on your way to keeping errors from getting into production. But be careful Test servers often arent as protected as the production environment - and hackers know this. If production data used in a test is leaked it could cause nightmares for the organization. So protect test data with the same measures used for production, like firewalls and encryption, or use dummy or anonymized data.Understand OWASP. The Open Web Application Security Project (OWASP) is more than a buzzword for SQL developers. You need to understand each item in the OWASP top 10 vulnerabilities list and how the SQL environment youre working in might be affected. SQL injection, cross-site scripting and cross-site request forgeries are just a few common methods for exploiting web-based applications. Fixing these issues during the design phase instead of after the application is in production can save the business both time and money.Fo cus on business intelligence. More organizations are using advanced analytical capabilities to drive better business decision making and create strategic opportunities. Be proactive about finding ways to help the business derive actionable business intelligence from its big data faster and more efficiently.Whether youre considering a management track, or looking to become another type of data specialist, doing any of the above is likely to help you impress your current or a tauglichkeit employer. These efforts will demonstrate that youre a SQL developer who is willing to go the extra mile to help the organization realize the maximum potential of its data.Our Salary Guide can help you find SQL developer salary ranges in your cityDOWNLOAD THE SALARY GUIDE

Burnout from work is real, says the World Health Organization

Burnout from work is real, says the World Health OrganizationBurnout from work is real, says the World Health OrganizationMad as hell and cant take it anymore? Burnout can creep up on you. But the phenomenon hasnt been officially recognized by any organization until this week, when the World Health Organization defined it as syndrome resulting from chronic workplace stress that has elend been successfully managed.The organization stopped short of calling it a medical condition, but noted it had three dimensionsexhaustion,increased negativity towards ones jobreduced professional efficacyBurnout welches strictly work-related, the WHO addedI think its really big news, Beth Benatti Kennedy, a leadership and executive coach and resiliency-training expert. Kennedy has coached many clients through burnout, and up until now, she said, there was no classification for them when they needed to take a leave of absence.The doctor has to say, Put them in for depression, just so they can get a medi cal leave, she said.While she thinks it will be tricky, the new classification is going to make companies be proactive in preventing burnout, she said. Kennedy cited the rigid working policies of many organizations that could lead to burnout We all know, there are companies that will be really against somebody working one day a week from home, or really against flex time theres still that going on in 2019.Taking time off or a one week vacation to cure burnout is not enough, says Kennedy. Ample time off is needed, but think of it as structured rest. She encourages her clients to take care of their health, meditate, learn what their stress triggers are, as well as get coaching and therapy.The positive side of burnout is, if managed properly, it doesnt last. Its not negative forever. You just have to get recharged.The WHO also recognized video game addiction as a mental health disorder this week.You might also enjoyNew neuroscience reveals 4 rituals that will make you happyStrangers know your social class in the first seven words you say, study finds10 lessons from Benjamin Franklins daily schedule that will double your productivityThe worst mistakes you can make in an interview, according to 12 CEOs10 habits of mentally strong people

How to Confront Your Boss (Nicely, Of Course) - The Muse

How to Confront Your Boss (Nicely, Of Course) - The MuseHow to Confront Your Boss (Nicely, Of Course) So, you need to confront your anfhrer. Are your palms getting sweaty at the thought?You arent alone. Needing to assert yourself to your manager- ideally, in a way that doesnt make you come off like a pushy know-it-all- is a tricky thing. You already have the basics covered. You know you should double-check your facts, try to problem-solve yourself, and get your ducks in a row before you stick your neck out and potentially damage your relationship with your supervisor.But, youve already done all of that, and theres no getting around this fact You absolutely need to have that dreaded (and hopefully not heated) conversation with your boss.Now youre met with the even tougher challenge of figuring out exactly what you should say. Fortunately, Im here to help. Here are three common scenarios when youll need to stand your ground with your superior- as well as how to get that conversation ro lling.Ah, that awkward moment when you know youre right and that your boss is completely wrong.Perhaps your manager keeps citing an incorrect statistic or stubbornly maintains that his approach to a specific project is the best way to go. But, you? You firmly disagree. Youre completely confident that youre in the right here. Youre eager to sway him over to your way of thinking (you know, the right way), without coming off as condescending or cocky. I Thought That Same Thing, ButOne of the best ways to stick to your guns without majorly bruising your boss selbst? By grouping yourself in with him. A phrase like this one demonstrates sympathy by making it clear that you had that same thought process, but eventually went another way when you uncovered an important piece of information- which you should share at this point in time. Even if it is a little white lie, its a great way to assert yourself in a way thats still supportive and cooperative. I Can Show You Where Im Getting This Ans werIf you have facts on your side, theres nothing wrong with opening your supervisors eyes to what is leading you to feel the way you do. When youre standing firm that you have the right answer in this situation, walk your boss through exactly how you arrived at that conclusion. Hell have a tough time arguing with solid proof. You have way to much work on your plate and are spread way too thin, meaning you need to loop your boss in on the fact that youre feeling overworked so that she can hopefully help you reach a more realistic workload.But, youre afraid that the whole exchange will just make you look like a complainer who cant get anything done. Have no fear- thats exactly why these two phrases are so helpful. Im Trying to Prioritize My TasksYou want to make it clear that you arent trying to shirk responsibilities altogether. Instead, youre attempting to ensure that you have the necessary time and energy for the things that your supervisor views as priorities.A phrase like this o ne is great, as it can segue into a request for help to sort through your existing to-dos and zone in on the most important ones. It turns the conversation into a collaborative effort to order your workload, rather than a major complaining session. Because Project Is Demanding So Much of My Time and AttentionIf youre worried about presenting yourself like a good-for-nothing, lazy employee, its a smart strategy to direct your boss attention to something major that youre working on. When theres a larger project thats demanding the majority of your resources, point that out to your manager so that you two can have a conversation about any less-pressing tasks that could be delegated or eliminated for now. You have a deadline looming over your head. The only problem? Youre stuck at a standstill while you wait on something that you need from your superior.Cringe, right? Needing to manage up can be a delicate situation to cope with. You need your boss to hold up his end of the deal. But, y ou also dont want to seem like youre telling him what to do. I Know You Have a Lot on Your PlateOne of the best methods for broaching this subject in a gentle way is to start by recognizing how busy your manager is. After youve acknowledged his packed schedule, you can ask when you can expect to receive that deliverable youre waiting for.I know, it can make you feel like a bit of a brownnoser. But, if youre concerned about coming off like a pesky micromanager, its a great way to segue into the conversation without pointing fingers and assigning blame. Do You Think Ill Still Be Able to Have This Project Completed By Date?Because leaders are often juggling numerous different things at once, its easy for them to miss the forest for the trees. They dont realize how their delay could impact the overall assignment.When your boss is really lagging behind, use a question like this one to remind her of the deadline for your entire project- rather than just her piece of the puzzle. Whether it was promised to a client by a specific date or you have other members in the organization waiting on its completion, nudging your boss with the firm deadline (rather than a wishy-washy end date of when youd hoped shed be finished) will hopefully give her a push in the right direction. Needing to confront your boss is usually enough to make your stomach do flips and your mouth go dry. But, chances are, youre going to need to do it every now and then.Fortunately, there are a few phrases you can use to approach that conversation in a way that presents you as poised and put-together- rather than pushy and patronizing.When you find yourself in one of the above situations? Give these a try and prepare for a productive discussion (no tears, screaming, or shaky knees required).

Why People Arent Discussing Resume 2018 Template

Why People Arent Discussing Resume 2018 Template The very last thing you would like to do is receive a job that you cant do. Its cool that youre trying to find a job to have some money, but you need some troubles with resume. Make certain you didnt miss whatever could cost you the job that you dream about When youre working at your present job youre not stressed, seems like everything goes smooth and with no troubles. Life, Death, and Resume 2018 Template Its possible to highlight your project work to make a more achievement-based resume. There are a lot of techniques to compose a resume. So you must strategize your resume based on a sheet of technology. When youve reviewed resumes in your field, peruse resumes across fields to learn how to vary using action verbs and receive a feel for what makes an effective accomplishment statement. The Honest to Goodness Truth on Resume 2018 Template The upcoming free resume template was made in the shape of a brochure. If your appl ication wants a titel letter then you may use the cover letter template. You may also download totally free templates from our Resume Library to get going on your best resume. There are several free CV templates 2018 you may select from. Not only are you going to look bad, but its going haunt you down the line with other future prospective employers. Even when youre sending your resume through a human recruiter, you need to choose an effective resume format that is famous in the business. Whichever format you select, it should make you become selected for the job youre applying for. If your resume contains clear info, with the correct key terms and by means of best resume formats 2018, then theres a risk that employers will choose the opportunity to check at it and provide you the opportunity. Well, luckily, theres a fairly straight forward way to figure out which resume format would work the very best for you. Functional and conventional resumes arent the only resume types to select from. There are 3 distinct forms of the best resume formats 2018. To assist you choose whats appropriate for you, lets look at the advantages and disadvantages of each resume format. Additionally, a resume that isnt ATS-compliant is not likely to ever be selected as a match, irrespective of the candidates actual qualifications for a function. Rather than list whatever you have ever done, include experiences and abilities that are related to the position and will force you to stand out. To begin with, perhaps its time to estimate your current resume to remember tore not committing any cardinal sins. Resumes are now designed to supply a value statementnormally a couple of small paragraphsthat illustrates a candidates very best attributes and techniques, and then validates them in some manner. Mention your professional abilities or qualifications which most describe your potential. The more you are able to create interest all around your work experience, the better. The aim of a functional resume is to frame your abilities and abilities in a manner thats most relevant to the work opening. Since you wouldnt have plenty of qualified experience, it would be hard to group your resume points into skills. The Good, the Bad and Resume 2018 Template Theres a portable document format file for a preview which can be created. Giving a PDF copy will be a better choice. When its you its tough to place everything to a page. As previously mentioned, you wish to select a resume format thats suited to your personal profile. Possessing a great resume format is vital to organizing your data in a sense which will help you become noticed. All you have to do is add your details. You should understand, that resume format is vital, as it can boost your odds to get invited for an interview. Part of creating an effective resume is choosing the most appropriate format to inform your private story. What You Need to Know About Resume 2018 Template Hiring manage rs are busy people and should they scan your resume and cant locate some information or skills fast you arent the one, whod secure a call today In addition, HR staff must have a look at hundreds of resumes. Plenty of job seekers even dont understand where to get started. Education is among a number of crucial sections employers search for on resumes. You have earned a job that you love and nows the opportunity to make it occur Also, in the event you frequently change jobs, you might also think of a functional resume. Simple to use and customize, and that means you can quickly tailor-make your job resume for any chance and assist you to receive your job. You want to find a new job.

Why No One Is Discussing Resume Writing Servicecv Writing Serviceresume Writing Service Torontoresum

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